We often hear prayers like this: Lord, please cleanse me, transform my life... God hears the prayers and answers them. Sometimes he leads us on very unusual ways, in darkness, on foggy ways, where we cannot see anything, but do our steps in faith.
Such a school was for me during the last eight and half years of my husband's illness until his death - while doing every day what the Lord has entrusted us. In these everyday tasks we had a main purpose: to share with others what we have also received out of grace, to share with others the fountain of our strength and peace - the Gospel.
Also we had more time to spend together, to talk with each other, about ourselves, about our future, about the eternal home, where we are going towards. So it became more clear in my mind that we aspire to heaven not because of our beloved who are already there, but because of the Lord, in whom we shall have all of our delight. That I should look to heaven not as to a distant country, but as to a close reality. I have also experienced that only through the Holy Spirit, by the power received from the Lord we can we live joyfully our earthly life, being careful also to everyday events. I was thinking of how we can be in balance between waiting for the Lord Jesus, looking to heavenly horizons, but in the same time to rejoice over the small wonders of everyday life. I was learning that those who truly prepare for heaven, who is conscious that she/he can depart at any time, looks to life differently, values material things differently. So many things become secondary, of less value, or become “rubbish”. My wish is that God may clear my sight, that I might search for things that He considers valuable, and put aside things that are without value for Him.
I was witness of many blessed testimonies during the past years. I am mentioning one:
We were waiting for hours on the corridor of Oncology Hospital, until being called to the consulting room. Many patients were waiting. My husband finally found a sitting place. According to his habit, he tried left and right, to find a person to speak about Jesus. He began with everyday questions. On that day people are very closed. Some turned aside, others were not interested, as if they were not even understanding the question.
A middle-aged lady was concentrating on herself: reading a book, drinking tea, eating a banana, than content of herself continued reading.
My husband asked her: “How long have you been at check-up?”: “Since March. I am well, and should not think on bad things” - she answered. My husband continued: “Well this is good, but one must prepare also for leaving this life ” “Oh no, we must not even think of that, we must live, we must be healed, and think of the best” “One may live even a hundred years, but must be prepared for death”.
The lady stood up to avoid any future discussions. She was very disturbed. In that moment, the nurse appeared in the door and addressed her. “Unfortunately your blood picture is not good, so the treatment is postponed. A little patience and you will be called to speak with the doctor” – said the nurse quietly but categorically. The lady who had been arguing for consciously good lifestyle and healing, became pale and did not want to read any more, but stood in a corner quietly. She was called in after a while, and after coming out, she left with a pale face without saying any goodbye.
God sets the times. The lady had not even wanted to hear of death, that cancer is a deadly disease. Healing is possible, but who can guarantee?
By no way the faith in healing. “My times are in your hands” - says the psalmist (Psalm 31:15). Nor in different food supplements or many advertised oriental extracts or other products. These are also good, especially to make some rich out of selling them.
But God's word is true: “My times are in your hands”. Lord, help us number our days that we may gain wisdom. And this wisdom also means to share with others that the fountain of our life is only in Him.
Erzsebet Vekas, January 2011