The testimony of Nawal Nehme from Lebanon

I grew up in a traditional Christian home in south Lebanon in a small village called Deirmimas. My parents were nominal Christians but my grandma was a believer and was known in town for her good faith, good heart and her opened home for the poor, needy and foreigners. Even though I did go to Sunday School when I was younger but the stories I heard from the Bible had no effect on my life. When I was 14 one girl, the same age, passed away. That shook me and made me wonder "when my turn will come"! I thought about death and dying; how, why, when and where was I going when I die and also what is expected of me here on earth? I was going to church all these years but it seemed that church had nothing to do with the answers to my silent questions. That year I went to a Christian camp and there I heard the message of salvation and was given an altar call. But I thought, "Well, it should be more complicated to get to know the creator of the universe!! When I was in high school I attended chapel every single day with several invitations to give my life but then because of the peer pressure I was afraid to do it. Kids made fun of those who did! When I became 18 my uncle gave me a diamond ring but I got no thrill receiving it because these material things did not give me much happiness plus what good is in it if I die. I was scared of death, funerals ambulances and hospitals.

After high school I got a job as a secretary. I was unhappy and wondered what on earth is wrong with me! All my friends are having a good time go out partying and what have you, except me! At age 23 I had a chance to leave Lebanon and go to Canada. I figured perhaps if I go, I will have more freedom, more money, a car a boy friend etc... I will be happier and will snap out of it and perhaps over there I will have my answers or perhaps I can go to a psychiatrist or a counselor of some sort. In my country going to such people is not very acceptable; people will thing you are crazy.

I ended up in Canada. While there I figured since I am a good girl with good Christian principles. I got a job, a car, money, boy friend, a guy I was going to marry but still that was not satisfying! I was going to church every Sunday and meeting other believers but my kind of faith was not doing me any good. I thought harder and harder but to no avail! I became more miserable and hit bottom! I wished I'd die and thought of committing suicide! I felt sick in the mind with no one to help me, far away from home! But one day when I really was at the end of my robe, I found myself going to my Bible and opening it as if someone told me that the answer is there now (I know now that it was the Holy Spirit directing me). I opened my Bible to Romans and I read out of desperation. I read and read and read and while reading felt like the words were like medicine restoring my health. I was slowly getting healed and brought back to life from death! Praise the Lord, so I read more and more, morning, noon and night and again I was feeling better and better all the time. Joy flooded my heart and I got peace that passes all understanding! I did not know what was happening! I just know that I am alive and happy! I wrote down verses from the Bible and hanged then on my board and read them over and over again. Those verses were lit up and did something in me! I did this for around 3 months. At the end of 3 months I felt like a new person; no more questions, no depression and appreciative of each little thing in my life and have so much love in my heart to others. I began to notice the beauty of nature outside; the fall in Canada is beautiful, did not notice it before! I have no more fear of death. I praised the Lord and thank him for this wonderful change.

After that I got encouraged and the Lord gave me the ability to go to college and I got a degree in library science while at the same time working...

I attended a Baptist church and started to grow in the Lord. I lived with 3 different Christian girls for 12 years. They influenced my life positively. The Lord put me in touch with the right people to fellowship with and grow in the Lord. I attended as well an Arabic Baptist church in order to hymn sing and pray in Arabic. So, I spent lots of time in church compensating for the lost years in my life. I was 26 at the time and was hungry for the word of God. After a while I started praying to God to send me somewhere to serve him either in Canada or somewhere else, but not to Lebanon! Perhaps it is probably that I had bad memories of the time I lived there; those unhappy years of childhood. At the mean time two of my cousins passed away at the time of the war. That drew my attention to my family back there that did not know the Lord. Where will they go if they die heaven or hell! So, at age 37 God spoke to me to go home for one year to share my faith with my family. So, I took a leave of absence for one year and went back home. Even though there was war going on, I did not care because I had peace in my heart about it. That was in 1983. As soon as I arrived I was so happy to find some American missionaries trying hard to reach my people with the message of salvation! They were struggling with the language and praying for God to send someone to translate for them the message from English to Arabic. So, here I come to meet Violet Kelly sharing in Sunday school with little kids the word of God. I was in tears and thankful to the Lord for those missionaries that leave home to go to other countries to serve God. There was another couple as well, Ed Rogers and his family. They both worked for the Voice of Hope radio station here and their spare time they picked my village to start a work there. Hallelujah... they were happy to meet me and tried to convince me to stay in Lebanon and leave Canada far good. I can of course speak the language and made me feel responsible for my own people. So, I said OK I will pray about it.

Meanwhile I started a meeting in my home. I invited the neighbors 12 of then and shared with them my experience with the Lord and we prayed for our war torn country. At the time the village had lots of refugees that had fled from Beirut and Sidon to the south. The people were afraid and very receptive. I was asked to have several meetings in homes and also we opened the Presbyterian Church and had one meeting on Sunday. The church was closed at that time. God was giving me what to say and teach. I have never in my life taught Sunday school, never directed a meeting nor had experience in any church function. I had to start from scratch and learn from the Holy Spirit who guided me and instructed me... During that time, about 5 months after, God spoke to me through many people that I should stay in Lebanon. That the people enjoy what I am sharing and that my town needs me and so on. The Lord gave me a taste of the ministry at the time after which I could not sit still! I took a decision to stay but I had to go back to Canada to resign my job, pack my clothes and come back. So, after 5 months of doing missionary work I went back to my job in Canada and 5 months passed after which I felt like I did not want to go to Lebanon! Friends and loved ones got in my way thinking I am crazy to go back when people were leaving the country because of the war. Of course when the Lord spoke to me no one heard him but me! That is why they did not understand me. For one whole year I prayed to God to open a door of ministry for me in Canada. This way I did not have to go back to Lebanon because after I had a taste of serving the Lord I could not sit still any longer! I hated my job, disliked Canada and was getting extremely restless. I had such a conflict not knowing what to do. At one time I thought I never want to go back to Lebanon and I felt I belong in Canada but now I felt I hate it and instead the Lord gave me love for Lebanon and a burden for my own people. How else was he going to get me out of there!!!?

During that year, one of the hardest in my life, I was miserable, unhappy, lost my peace, depressed and wondered what is wrong with me again! I had to go to several counselors, a psychiatrist but I got no help. But then one good Christian counselor advised me to go home where God wanted me! I was ignoring the Lord's voice! So, I packed my clothes inspirit of my feeling, and returned.

It was a joy to arrive and find a group of believes meeting already in my home town! I joined them and served together for the last 20 years.

A couple years after, I have spent quite a bit of my own money, not caring where my next penny was going to come, the Lord had a beautiful surprise for me. I got news from some distant cousins that they are going to support me financially. This is a family of believers whose parents left my village 40 years before to America. They accepted the Lord in the states and since then for 40 years they prayed that God send a missionary to their home town to reach people with the message of salvation. Even though this village is 100% Christian, they are nominal Christians. They believed that I was an answer to their parent's prayers! Their parents never returned to the village... I was in tears to think that I am an answer to someone's prayers like this!! What a great God we have. This family has been helping me through out the last 20 years. I had told the Lord that I would never want to ask for any penny! I am so thankful to the Lord for their faithfulness. Their prayers and their obedience to him to help me out. They are the Basil family; Frank, Minnie and Becky and their nephew Billy Brown from lancing Michigan. They are my mother's cousins.

Now, since I am the oldest of the group of believers meeting in my home town, I had to be their model! That was not easy! Since I have never had any training, I had to depend totally on the Lord! I was 37 years old at the time, a late blooming! The Lord helped me, taught me to lead the group. Our number grew and we were envy of the traditional churches around us! They assumed that we are stealing their sheep! They got together, 3 of them, and complained to the authorities. At the time we were occupied by the Israelis in South Lebanon. We were threatened and asked to stop our meetings otherwise we would be in trouble but we continued as we thought we should obey the Lord rather than men. So, one day on Easter Sunday after we had our Easter program and the church was packed, they attacked us and took some of our young men to prison for few days, and advised us not to meet again because we are meeting in a home and not a church and we are not registered in the government under any denomination.

The Presbyterian Church at that time was closed and so we ended up going to the head of that church to ask permission to meet in the church. We were told that we will be given the church but on condition we will become Presbyterians and we will be assigned a pastor by them. Most of us were influenced by the Baptist church and were baptized...

It turned out that we did not get along with the pastor. He was too traditional for our taste and there is some difference in our practice as opposed to his. On the other hand we needed him in order to go on with our activities especially Sunday School and Bible Study etc... we needed to be covered by some denomination and meet in a church building we were told. So, we decided we will have an additional meeting on Sunday night to the Sunday morning one with the pastor. So, we started our own meeting on Sunday night in my home and that lasted for 10 years; all the period we met at the Presbyterian Church. The Lord used this period to train some young men to teach and preach. We learned from books, tapes and the Holy Spirit. The Lord raised 3 young men from our group to serve him as teachers and preachers and so we carried on with the church activities usual without the help of the pastor. The pastor only came for the Sunday morning service. So after 10 years of prayers asking the Lord to send us a different pastor, God was training us to become his servants.

After 10 years of struggling we had a big argument with that pastor. He accused us of being Baptists and not Presbyterians! He said it so many times that drove us to leave him and really join the Baptist church! At this time we were free of the Israeli occupation and were again under the Lebanese authorities. This has been 5 years since that happened one of the young men got ordained last summer and now we are a registered church. One of the other young men is an evangelist, who goes to different churches and the third one is in the States pastoring an Arabic church and studying for his master's program.

Thank God for our small church because wherever our members go they are in charge of some activities and good workers.

Presently, we are meeting in a house again. It is a gift of the heart to us from my uncles also a Brasil family, Nawfel, Kamil and George Basil. It is small for our activities but thank God we have it so, we trust the Lord to provide for us a piece of land and financial support in order to have our own church building. We are sure the Lord is going to do it because he promised never to leave us or forsake us and He proved it the last 20 years. Please pray with us and for us. Thank you.

Nawal Nehme, Lebanon

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