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Lorraine Walker, President of South West Pacific Baptist Women's Union - Newsletter, September 2007
For your funny bone...
A
store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to
choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6
floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper
ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door
to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a
floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping centre to find a husband. On the first
floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The
woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my
last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love
kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's
further up?" And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids
and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder
what's upstairs?"
The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids,
are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims
the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And
again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids,
are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong
romantic streak. 'Oh, mercy me!' she thinks, 'But just think..what must
be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to
this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as
proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at
Husband Mart and have a nice day!
For your soul...
There is an old Sunday School chorus that began with "Brighten the
corner where you are..." - such songs encourage us to shine the light
of Jesus wherever we happen to be, yet the prevailing attitude in our
post-modern society today seems to be "I am first. I want to do what I
want; I want to look after me first."
The shortest complete sentence in the English language is "I am" and
Jesus took the complete reverse of the world's attitude when He said "I
am - the Light of the world; I am - the Good Shepherd; I am - the Way,
the Truth and the Light." He allowed Himself to be sacrificed for us,
to die a criminal's death on a cross, so that the world may know the
True Light.
The "corner where you are" is the unique mission field in which God has
placed you - nobody else is able to be the witness in your personal
world that you are. Nobody else has the opportunities that cross your
path each day to speak a word for Jesus - those opportunities are
unique to you alone. Ask God to equip you each day to bring His Light
to the dark corners of the lives of the people in your unique mission
field.
May you experience the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the blessings of
His presence with you as you step out in faith and service for Him.
For Your Laugh Lines...
The minister of a Baptist church believed that God was calling the
church to a new vision of what the church was to be and to do. So at
the Deacons' Meeting, he presented the new vision with as much energy,
conviction and passion as he could muster. When he had finished and sat
down, the chair of the meeting called for a vote. All 14 deacons voted
against the new vision, with only the minister voting for it.
'Well, Pastor, fourteen votes to one - it looks like you will have to
think again,' said the chairman. 'Would you like to close the meeting
in prayer?'
So the minister stood up, raised his hands to heaven, and prayed,
'Lord, will you not show these people that this is not MY vision but it
is YOUR vision!'
At that moment, the clouds darkened, thunder rolled, and a streak of
lightning burst through the window and with an earshattering roar,
split in two the table at which they are sitting, throwing the minister
and all the deacons to the ground.
After a moment's silence, as they all got up and dusted themselves off,
the chairman spoke again. 'Well, that's fourteen votes to two then.'
A little boy was standing gazing up at the church's Honour Roll that
recorded the names of people from that church who had died on the
battlefield.
As the minister walked past, the little boy asked what it all meant.
'Ah, my son,' said the minister. 'They are the names of all the people who have died in the Service'.
The little boy was quiet for a while, till he asked in an awed whisper, 'Was it the 8.30 or the 10.30 service?
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