Testimony

I started losing my sight when I was 3 1 years old, until I lost it completely at the age of 17. My life was so miserable, and I struggled to compensate for this handicap through education; however, despite my intellectual and educational abilities, I was unable to change people's attitudes towards my being a blind person.

This made me seek higher education, and I concentrated on philosophy as a way to truth and happiness. However, at the end of my Philosophy courses, I was shocked by a statement relayed by one of the professors, that the philosopher is a blind person looking for a black cat in a dark room. This statement sent me looking for truth and happiness through some other source.

While I was struggling with these ideas, the love of Jesus appeared to me and surrounded me. This came through the genuine love and concern of a classmate who portrayed God's love through her patience and unwavering witness, at a time when I was still doubting and confused. I was touched by her love that showed me the love of Jesus revealed on the cross. I knew that Jesus loved me unconditionally, He accepted me as I was, at the time when all others saw me only as a handicapped person. I saw Jesus in Isaiah 53, "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief..."

I started to accept myself and to relate my pain to Him. I started to see myself through His eyes. I left all my questions and my life in the hands of the one who said: "My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." (2Cor 12:9). Thus I gained great self-confidence, and I was overwhelmed with joy.

As a new person in Christ, and as a member of Ras Beirut Baptist Church, I now seek to help those who have not yet experienced His transforming love. Instead of being a miserable handicapped person, I'm now trying to help people, both whole and handicapped, to get over their problems. This I do through love, faith, and my educational background that God gave me the chance to gain, through a Masters degree in Educational Psychology-Guidance and Counseling. God was so gracious to open in front of me many doors of Christian service. One of these doors consists of presenting Christian ethics in schools and counseling children from different backgrounds.

Another way is the use of my voice which the Lord gave me to praise His wonderful name in different churches, conferences, and evangelistic outreach campaigns in and outside Lebanon, as well as on tapes. Moreover, I visit on regular basis physically handicapped women in their homes or in care centers, as well as being part of a help-line ministry.

Finally, I can only, yet wholeheartedly give thanks to "Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end." (Eph.3:20)

Jamilah Tannous

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